Rizq

Aaa tak boleh tdo pulak dah 😩 Selalu nya time ni memang dah selamat aku belayar. Now enjoying the most calming view. Anak anak suami semua tido selonggok 😘 Erm dua longgok laa sebab ada dua ketol tido tilam sebelah. If this is not bahagia, then i don't know what it is. Alhamdulillah. Tu la benda paling banyak aku sebut lately. For whatever Allah gives me i am thankful 🤍

Bukan nya aku tak ada challenges yee dalam hidup ni. Banyak. Financially memang struggle. Kalo nak list kan memang major lah kot. Moving out from an apartment to a landed. It costs you a bomb. What more if it is twice ?  😖 Anak anak nak membesar. Susu ngan pampers mahal yee. Belum lagi seketol ni keluar.  Food lagi. Maid lagi. Aku kene commute keje kat KL everyday lagi. Tu pon carpool sebab utama aku malas drive but at the same time jimat sikit 🚘 Kalo fikir memang stress tapi aku percaya setiap orang ada rezeki mereka. May be kami ni pon menumpang rezeki anak anak 💰

Aku rasa semua orang struggle benda yang sama and ada yang worse than us, so what we can do is to deal with it. Lepas ni memang aku kene masak 🍱 Sebab dorang ni semua jenis makan nasi. So better aku masak pagi and malam. Then aku bleh g keje dengan tenang. At least dah tau makan suami and anak anak dah terjaga 🌮  Bab masak ni aku tak berapa minat nak suruh maid aku buat. Ntah may be sebab dari dulu aku jenis masak sendiri kot. Another note, grab mahal yer.  Haha 🙊

May Allah keeps our little family in His blessing and guidance. Jauhi kami dari segala dugaan yang tak mampu kami tanggung. Murahkan dan cukupkan rezeki buat kami semua 🤲🏼 Amin !

xoxo

Personal Issues

There are days when you just want to shut yourself up. Orang bercakap pon kau rasa annoyed and too loud for your hearing. Today is that day for me. Too many things cramped my head. Bumped into some social media posts that triggered the anxiety i have. Sebab tu la nak buat apa apa kene fikir dulu pada psychological impact it can bring. May be a temporary effect. May be jugak a life time effect. 

I have trust issue. A severe one. I think people should not trust each other. They will cheat one another. They will back stab each other. People are not meant to be trusted, regardless how good they may appear. And this apply to both gender. There’s always things hidden behind your back. Sometimes even the first niat was also evil. Ill advised, jealousy and the list goes on. 

How i normally coop with this kind of situation ?

I’ll sleep for a few hours. Trying to be normal right after waking up. Get my ipad and write something here or on threads. I don’t know. Nothing to be specific. But writing it down can actually helps. It works for me at least. If i think i need to cry, i just go mandi and be quiet. Then i cry. Anything that makes me feel better. 

Spiritually yes amek wudhuk and solat sunat and burst yourself to the Almighty. May He grant us with ketenangan. Semoga semua kesedihan di ketepi kan dan di ganti dengan kegembiraan. He knows what’s in your heart. 

xoxo

Too Heavy

Another Saturday has come.

But seminggu ni perasaan tu bercampur campur. Media consumption tak pernah terasa seberat ini. Apa khabar lah anak anak Gaza. Moga terus di beri keselamatan. Moga Allah hadir kan perkara gembira buat mereka. Hapus kan rasa sedih dari hati mereka. Tak ada yang mampu selain berdoa. 

May be sebab aku pregnant 🤰🏼 dan ada anak kecik. Jadi jiwa tu tak tenteram. Tido malam pon terasa berat. Peluk anak anak pon rasa lain. Doa untuk budak budak ni tak pernah putus. Doa untuk suami semua lahh doa. Aku rasa tu je ketenangan buat aku. Knowing that i dont have any power but to surrender to the Almighty makes me feel calm. Tapi honestly aku memang xde kekuatan nak tengok semua dugaan orang Palestin. Nak tengok pon tak mampu ape lagi nak hadap. Anak jatuh pon dah cemas bagai nak gila. Mana ada mak nak dukung jasad anak dia 😩😭

Semoga semua penjajahan ini berakhir. Semua berita pon rasa too stressful to read. Semua benda lah tak betul. Tak per lah Allah tetap dengar semua benda dalam hati kau. Tetap lah berdoa buat semua umat Islam. Semoga semua nya akan baik baik saja. Aku tanak anak anak aku hidup dalam keadaan tak tenteram. Semoga semuanya dilindungi Allah

xoxo

Just Saturday

Happy Saturday !

Woke up a little late. But lots of kisses from the kids and the husband. Hiuhiu. I am blessed in so many ways. Alhamdulillah. Then decided to hit Starbucks nearby because husband got something to catch up with his partner. Dragged Sofea along since she's been in the house for the past week. Demam panas and all. Kesian. She has a lot in her head.

There are times aku rasa stress sikit lately may be sebab ada banyak benda pending dalam kepala. Dengan nak pindah umah nya. Nak packing. Nak buat umah baru tu as lively as possible. In shaa Allah. Nak cari duit jugak. Nak setel kan hutang. Haha so many things. Aku rasa these are all normal problems adult kene fikir. Bertabahlah ! Doa selalu in  shaa Allah ada jalan nya. Berusaha and berserah kepada yang memberi rezeki. Terus buat keje dan tawakkal. 

Office being office. Nothing special. We are doing what we can. A routine. Parliament session started and boss won't be around at least half day. So life won't be that busy i hope. There's two and a half months to go before i pop. Hehe tak tau nak explain. May be this baby is just another big blessing to our family. Cuma aku rasa pasni xmau dah mengandung lagi. Sis penat uolls ! Haha

Overall aku rasa my head is clear. Kalo ada problem pon sikit sikit jer and masih boleh handle. Bukan nya jenis semua masalah datang sekaligus. Even one day tu masalah memang macam bertimpa. But aku dengan bangga nya bole cakap we managed them well. Tackle satu per satu tanpa banyak sgt emosi. This time may be dah lebih matang comapred to sebelum ni kan. Alhamdulillah it is always with His help. Kalo tak memang tak jugak aku mampu. 

Okay laa nothing else. Just killing my time kat sini.

xoxo

October Celebration

offcially 39 y'all. hehe. alhamdulillah for all the experience and everything 🤲🏻so much love sepanjang 39 tahun hidup. blessed with 3 beautiful kids and a wonderful husband. oh soon to be four beautiful babies. in shaa Allah. 

banyak celebration tahun ni, start dengan office celebrations yang kak dinie arranged. then staff office yang konon surprised almost tak jadi. lepas tu kat rumah dengan anak anak. then last night dgn kak nazie and the hashtag #kitakeluarga 🥳 thank you Allah kerana menghadirkan mereka semua dalam hidup aku. nampak tak besar tapi impactful. 

walau pon birthday aku tapi tetap laa rasa nk buat appreciation post pada suami aku. sebab dia bersusah payah lah seharian dengan aku 🤗 macam macam urusan kitorang kene buat. sampai laa g beli croffle cake nak celebrate ngan anak anak kat umah. may be pada orang lain tak grand. but aku rasa ni paling bermakna sebab dari awal memang dia la yang berusaha. angkut anak anak semua berkumpul kat meja. haha. makan sampai comot sesama. may be budak budak tu tak ingat tapi aku confirm akan selalu hargai 😘

thank you sayang ! ♥️

xoxo

A Different One

Every pregnancy is different. I've been reading the statement for quite sometimes but never truly understands the actual meaning. Now that i experienced it, i guess that short statement gives me a new level of understanding. Previously, i can say that i have easy pregnancies. I can work well, i have little-to-no morning sickness, i have mild cramps, i have minimal allergies and i can be as normal as possible. 

However with this one, i have a little unusual simptoms than the previous ones. I have severe cramps, i get myself bled twice as for now. First was due to an infection. And alhamdulillah nothing harmful for the baby. Today i spot the bleeding again. Not as heavy as the first time. But the stomach cramps is killing me. It hurts so bad. Semua benda pon jadi tak kene. Jalan sakit. Duduk sakit. Baring sakit. Semua laa sakit. Nak melangkah g toilet yang 5 tapak tu jer pon sakit. Ni dah hari ke 3 i guess. 

Alhamdulillah today dah ada selera makan. Paksa je makan on time. Tak buat keje umah. Tak masak. Tak dukung anak. Tak mandi kan anak. Semua pon tak. Baring jer la keje aku. Bosan laa jugak. Haha tapi may be jugak tuhan nak suruh rehat sikit. Kalo tak kang aku komplen pulak penat. Bila sakit camni aku still bersyukur jugak sebab aku yang sakit bukan anak anak aku sakit. Kalo dorang yang sakit aku lagi haru. Tak leh rehat tak leh tido malam. 

Anyway, please pray for my speedy recovery. I just want to get better. Hopefully everything is good with the baby. So far masih normal pergerakan dia. Gula masih in control. Thank you dear husband for helping with everything !

xoxo